Mauritius at 50: Getting Ready

Here are some of the things we should do:

1. Bring basic -- very basic -- management back. Like building another reservoir so we can catch more of all the water that falls on our head every year. And of course put more money into fixing leaking pipes. Instead of squandering billions into building new offices because one Minister wants more legroom.

2. Have an A380 fly over Champ de Mars at noon sharp. The peculiar thing about this plane is that it would not have any name. Only a few digits. 12.3.68.

3. New national logo and tagline. Which recognise that we can have the world's best air quality. This will help improve our management. Ask Southwest Airlines.

4. Significantly reduce the 450 amputations that are done every year. We could start by immediately taxing soft drinks more and increasing the number of weekly PE classes in our schools to three. Redesigning the curriculum with the 9-amputations-a-week statistic in mind and by going for noncumulative semesters will also produce a better learning experience. And say goodbye to obese parrots.

5. Reinstate progressive taxation so we grow faster again. And allow us to be more mindful.

6. Tweak our electoral system in a thoughtful way. Without introducing a dose of PR and the dangerous party lists that come with it. A few hysterical Marxists who want to do "autogestion" with our iPhone of constitution won't like it. But that won't prevent us from sleeping tight.

7. Allow kreol as an option in which debates in Parliament can happen. That's the language more than 8 out 10 Mauritians speak at home. Lalit can provide an initial list of unparliamentary words or add an entry on Wikipedia.

8. Schedule Zurnal Televize (ZT) on the first channel at 19h30. Have one reporter posted in each of these three cities: San Francisco, London and Tokyo to help cure navel-gazing.

9. Merge the CWA and CEB into a superutility. To protect us from severe Ministerial delusions. And to go back to our interesting 1996 carbon footprint.

Saving the rest for Mauritius at 500.

Leicester's Owner Wanted 40 Points

For the season and Claudio delivered 39. Halfway through it. He has added another 38 points with two more matches to play. Nobody can catch them save Tottenham which has to win all three of their matches provided Ranieri's lads don't take more than 1 point out of a possible 6. Of course if the Spurs drop points tonight Leicester will be the Champ and they won't have to wait for Vardy's return against Everton on Saturday to start celebrating.

But hey, this is football. You simply never know.

Top Three General Elections

No. 3. July 2005. Labour and allies do something which was thought almost impossible until then: one of the three main parties beating the other two. And that too by a comfortable margin. Ramgoolam is also the first political leader to stage a comeback as PM for 5 years. Without an exit clause. They double up a few months later by winning all five municipalities.

No. 2. December 2014. What a beauty! Against all odds -- and crappy simulations -- Jugnauth rides back to power on strong voter opposition to replacing our iPhone of electoral setup -- God bless our FPTP system -- with the dangerous Sithanen electoral stupidity. Voters collectively stun almost everyone with their intelligence by keeping Ramgoolam, Boolell and many others out of parliament. To also thwart Ramgoolam's silly fantasy of becoming President à la frenchie.

Can't be another one. August 1967. The elections to set Mauritius free. To get our national flag flying high seven months later. And an opportunity for a couple of mavericks to prove Meade wrong. And deliver unprecedented upward social mobility to tens of thousands through the mindful combination of the welfare state, progressive taxation, the FPTP system, the Westminsterian system of government and visionary policy-making.

Sizing Up Prince

First good connection I got with him was When Doves Cry. We're in the mid 80s and Michael Jackson is ruling the world. But WDC has a very catchy first 15 seconds. My friends tell me they like Purple Rain. I don't really. Probably way too busy listening to MJ and learning his moves. Of course I like Kiss. And learn the refrain from the Sunday papers. His clips are nice but the overall visual experience is quite peculiar. Like with Bowie. And Boy George.

I had never listened to any interviews of him. Until yesterday. Maybe because he didn't give that many. So it was a real treat to find out he's very soft-spoken and at peace with himself.

Public Sector Has No Monopoly of Common Sense

Neither does our private sector. For example the 60,000 hectares of land under sugar cane will produce barely 1% of our GDP this year. That's roughly the size of Singapore which has the world's 36th largest economy. Which means that they generate 2,458X more value for every acre of land that we have under sugar cane. Hey, but don't worry they're not the gateway to Africa. Plus their national animal is not a lazy bird which died in the same year as Pascal. Probably of diabetes. We just need to make it clear to the world where in the open seas does that gateway start. And where it ends.

Be like Johan

Be like Pele for sure. But when I kept seeing the elegant Dutchman on the cover of football magazines I wanted to be like Cruyff too. Magazines had to be purchased if he was on the posters neatly folded in the middle. Which were immediately pulled out and opened wide. And greeted with an expressive taaaaaarrr! I had no clue what total football was about. But that hardly mattered. What did was that he was awesome. And who doesn't want to be awesome? Of course later -- much later -- when you're smart enough you understand what he was up to. Some saw a Pythaghoras in boots. Olsson didn't see anything. Nureyev something else. He thought that No. 14 should have been a dancer. What the hell do you think he was doing on the pitch Rudolf? Gone too soon. Smoking kills.

And we lost Zaha Hadid too. I wasn't really familiar with her work. Or so I thought. But it's almost impossible not to have come across one of her landmark buildings. Like if you're a fan of Reinhold Messner it will not take you that long before you bump into the name of the trailblazing architect. Her work reminds me of another game-changer: Oscar Niemeyer. And what do you do when an engineer says it can't be done? "Sack the engineer". Thank you Zaha.

All of this has put me in the mood for some Space Oddity.

Did You Say Air Corridor?

Getting flights from Changi to Plaisance won't hurt us. But Mauritius is unlikely to become the bridge between Asia and Africa that politicians want us to believe. As far as air traffic goes. You just need to look at the current flight patterns -- save that link to see how they change as the day progresses.

Good to also note that most of the air trips in Africa are between countries on the mainland. Besides we'll not get any of the flights that originate from west of the Atlantic coast of Mama Africa.

And then there are Dubai and Tambo and many others.

But heh, don't worry. No one can beat us when it comes to the dumb depreciation of our currency.

What Lutchmeenaraidoo Must Do, Fast

Increase top tax rates for individuals and for corporates in the next budget. So energy prices can come down to levels that reflect international conditions. And government can start help the economy humming nicely again. In a sustainable fashion. Smart Cities which are more like glorified IRS will not take us anywhere good. They are like the wrong type of FDI we've been getting since 2005: they don't help our young knowledge workers contribute their skills to push Mauritius forward but only make sure that another whole generation is buried. Alive.

Or Lepep and Vishnu -- who can't seem to tell the difference between a Black Swan and a White one -- stand to lose a lot more than bragging rights about delivering a second 'miracle'. They will inevitably be thrown out of office and voters will finally experience an aha moment when revisiting the 'first' one.

Pack Your Bags

ACIM Does its Homework

Obama Will Visit Cuba Next Month

For two days. Finally. Hopefully there will be that baseball match. And a special guest.

How You Know Valentine’s Day is Not Far

Kind of easy. It's raining and Mauritius is shutting down. Just like three years ago. One year before that the CWA announced harsher cuts right after we received tons of rain.

What does that say about our management skill?

See you in exactly one year!!!

Sookun To Sue Investigators

He just spent 10 days in jail after he was suspected of having something to do with a threatening email that was sent to the PMO. Ish came into the public eye when he opposed the controversial biometric id card.

BoM Releases nTan Report, This Time

Here it is. I hope the first one will be released too. In the name of transparency.

Collen Analysis of Many Issues Spot-on

Quite a refreshing interview. You don't want to miss this.

David Bowie Loses Battle With Cancer

Kind of sad to hear he died yesterday. Grew up while listening to his songs. He was married to Somali-born Iman. Here's one of my favourite Bowie songs: his first hit and apparently not written while sober.

Mauritius Adjusts to Ban of Plastic Bags

In one grocery store I checked there were no paper bags to put your bread in. Some people just placed theirs on the damp cashier conveyor belt. You can only guess the source of that humidity. Our sister island Rodrigues has banned plastic bags for 18 months now. I wonder if we've learned everything we could from their experience?

It's a good move to ban these plastic bags. We should get rid of this nuisance next.

Tant vakwa here I come.

2015: The Year in Review

Q1: Gerrard leaves Liverpool. Scrapping point system is wrong. Chinese economy largest for next 5 decades. Singapore turns 50 as LKY dies at 91.

Q2: BOM shuts down Bramer Bank. Say goodbye to our Tamarin salt pans. Two beautiful minds die in car crash. Dracula dead at 93.

Q3: How to thin-slice policy quality. Cecil shot. 5-year olds to get assessment. Journalist forgets inflation. 10 years of blogging.

Q4: Klopp predicts league title within 4 years. Canada gets another Trudeau. PM calls PR a komeraz. Waiting better than massive bat culling. Lomu dead at 40.

Unstoppable Jonah Lomu Dead at 40

I am no Rugby fan. I don't even know the rules of the game. I think there are two halves just like in football. The only thing I know about this sport is Jonah Lomu. And that too because he seemed to be on the front page of every major newspaper at one point in time. He had a rugby ball safely tucked between one hand and his chest. The other hand was probably busy getting an opponent out his way. While he was trying not to step on another one he had knocked down half a second earlier. It was an impressive sight. Just like when I watched games of basketball back in 1993 and noticed one guy that seems to be hanging in the air a little longer than everyone else.

So when I watched bits of World Cup matches recently I looked out for him in the All Blacks team. I saw one Dan Carter but no Jonah. And then the world heard the news of his sudden death. Kind of sad. RIP big guy.

Waiting Better Than Massive Bat Culling

Our flying fox had been red-listed by the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN) because its population was expected to decline by about a third in the next twenty one years. Culling 18,000 bats is equivalent to exterminating 20% of the species -- in a few weeks -- if you think there are 90,000 of them. Additional pressure that the endemic bats might find impossible to bear. But wait. Not everybody agrees there are 90k bats: the IUCN puts the actual figure closer to 50,000. Which would mean that the operation under way will be eliminating a third of Zorro Volador Negro de Mauricio.

Projections of the IUCN may also be too optimistic as meteorological data appears to have become increasingly shaky: cyclones and hurricanes have been showing up in places great-grandmothers never thought possible. Plus we've seen several cyclones lining up in our neck of the ocean in the not-so-distant past.

The upshot of all this uncertainty is that we need to tread super cautiously. For sure there seems to be more bats now -- Mauritius has been spared by strong cyclones for several years -- but more people are netting their trees. Which should give government pause to consider other mitigating measures that have been tried elsewhere. Especially given that bats are not the only fruit predators in town. And in any case many of them will not survive a major cyclone.