Bigger Than the Madoff Scandal

Yeah. The STC hedging loss of Rs2.9 billion translates into about 1.1% of our GDP which stood at Rs263 billion at the end of 2008. That a percentage of the US economy would be worth about USD158 billion or if you prefer 3.16 times larger than the USD50 billion Madoff scam. Besides, the STC didn't have to do any oil hedging given that all price increases inclusive of the unfair 15% VAT are passed to us as have been the case for the past three and half years now. Which makes it all the more urgent and necessary to find out how this really happened and why.

We also have to find out precisely what led to the hedging mess at Air Mauritius which is the equivalent of almost 6 Madoffs. Explanations offered so far by both MK and its biggest shareholder have been far from satisfactory.

Top 10 Reasons Why Solutions to 95% of Our Problems Are Not Domestic

No. 10. More reasonable electricity prices have been promised by Navin Ramgoolam for more than a year now. You should blame Mick Jagger if you've been waiting for Godot.

No. 9. Oil prices at the pumps remain high and are killing our economy to finance the reverse Robinhoodness of the flat-tax duet. Not really. It's Deepika Padukone's fault.

No. 8. More than a third of the students who fail the CPE do so because the exam is way too difficult. That of course is U2's Bono's fault who's been dishing out one great song after the other and disturbing our kids.

No. 7. Record FDI pouring into the country since 2006 should have made everybody richer through an appreciating currency had our national bean-counter along with the then Governor not been in a hurry to create double-digit inflation. Just kidding. If our currency crashed in the second half of 2006 it's because Scorpion Queen Khun Kanchana didn't hold the little darlings in her mouth long enough.

No. 6. The controversial reintroduction of the daylight saving time was imposed on us by Bernard Madoff.

No. 5. We have to blame Aung San Suu Kyi for staying too long at home if Sithanen did not anchor our inflation expectations by not providing the Bank of Mauritius and hence the country with a target range for inflation as required by the law between 2005 and 2010.

No. 4. Navin Ramgoolam has been PM for close to 9 years and our traffic problems haven't improved. Far from that. Nah, it's because Paris Hilton hasn't been partying hard enough!

No. 3. If Air Mauritius is technically bankrupt it's not because we have an incompetent bunch managing it. No way. It's because Hillary didn't win the Democratic Party's ticket in the last US President election.

No. 2. It is very easy to establish a link between the fact that we don't have a sufficiently comfortable public transportation system and the number of Asian lions that were born in 1859.

And the No. 1 reason why solutions to 95% of our problems are not domestic is

No. 1. People lost their lives in flash floods in the same week that water stoppages were in force in 2008. That of course is because the snow atop Mt. Kilimanjaro melted earlier than usual.